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At a cannibal's restaurant


A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.

Tourist: $ 5.00
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked LIBERAL, Grilled CONSERVATIVE or Sauteed NDP: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
"Why such a high price for the Politicians?"

The cook replied,
"Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."

(Sent by George W. $ 5.00)

The body organ meeting


All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work...
the ass hole is usually in charge

Sent by George W.
(usually in charge)

Don't eat turkey sandwiches


Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! !

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends ..
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch.
They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed
that her sandwich wasn't a turkey sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating turkey, don't you like it anymore?'
She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'
'Why?' he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'
'Let me see' he said ..
'Okay' and she showed him. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are!
Better not eat any more turkey.'

He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut
butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl,
'I have to stop eating turkey sandwiches,
I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look,
so he showed her !

She said , 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you !
You've already got the NECK and Giblets!!!

(Sent by George W)

Lección para el 2014 - enviado por GW


Lección para el 2014

Algunas veces nos esforzamos demasiado
para obtener el pasto más verde.
Y en ese intento, terminamos con problemas.

Y cuando tú te encuentras en problemas
y estás atrapado en una situación
de la que no puedes salir,
hay una cosa
que debes recordar siempre:

no todos los que se presentan 
lo hacen para ayudarte.


¡Cuídate, amigo mío!
¡Y mantén la cabeza
dentro del cerco!

GW